Brown Fingernails & Stinky Fingers

Not everybody washes their hands, not everybody bathes. Some people carry a toothbrush everywhere they go. People do their hygiene different, and I’m fine with that. I’m even better when some guy goes on national television and says he hasn’t washed his

hands in a decade because he doesn’t believe in germs, because he can’t see them. Now, there’s a couple of things here, first, I’ll never shake hands with a guy who has never washed his hands after taking a shit, cuz sometimes, your hands don’t come out glistening clean. Second, I believe it’s a good idea that you voice your hygiene protocol on national television, it’s a good way to cull idiots from the ranks of the sensible, and third, I’m guessing a lot of people never see God, but their faith is unshakable. So in review, we all agree hand washing is a good idea, it’s fine if you don’t want to indulge, but let the rest of us know, and God ain’t unlocking the pearly gates for those with brown fingernails and stinky fingers.


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